I am a lost Child

Hi, I’m Archer. I’m 21. And I have no idea what to do with my life.

Chances are I’m not the only one around my age who feels that way. Most of us get told what we should be by our parents. It’s a played out trope, but growing up, we had three future career choices: doctor, lawyer, engineer. As I was never good at math (I knew this from age 6), I figured I’d do law. Plus my dad was a lawyer so, hey, family tradition.

Something that our system does is it makes kids choose their future at a very young age. Some might say too young. When you turn 13 (or 12 in my case) you basically have to pick a lane for the rest of your academic life and the building blocks for your professional one. An academic life that still has anywhere from 7–9 years to run. If you’re like me, then you’ve probably burned through more than your fair share of hobbies and life aspirations.

Now imagine you’re 12 years old. You haven’t even gone through puberty yet. You’re made to pick a career, so you pick law, like your daddy. Everything seems to be going fine. Now fast-forward 5 years. You’re in uni, studying law, but you don’t care for it anymore. Why? Well, you’ve seen the full picture of the man you wanted to be like, and you don’t like it. You’re disillusioned by the course, the profession (with it’s numerous, infuriating hang-ups), and basically every decision you’ve made has come back to bite you in the tuchas.

What do you do? Dropping out is a no-go, tradition and all that. So you decide to stick with it and finish. You burn though, almost burn out but you survive. Barely. Now, you’re out. After 9 years of focus (if you count senior secondary school), you have the degree. A degree you have no intention of using. At this point, you’re 23, and now you have to start your life all over again.

That is my dilemma. I turn 22 in a few weeks, and I have no fucking clue what I’m doing or where my life is heading. I feel like I’ve wasted and been wasting the last 6 years of my life chasing a dream I haven’t believed in in a while. It doesn’t help that all around me, people seem to have their bricks in order while it looks like I’m the kid flailing in the pool, trying to keep my head afloat. Wishing that I could go back and change things. Not go to art class. Not join this fucky profession. Maybe pay more attention in math class.

Maybe I dig myself out of this. Stay tuned.

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