i’m a huge fan of peter parker. as are a lot of people (the kid has wide appeal). the main for the draw is his relatability. he’s a regular guy who has money problems, girl problems, school problems (despite being one of the smartest guys in-universe), and family problems. things everyone can see and relate to, even if the dude having the problems can climb walls and lift cars above his head. the part about parker that i found most relatable is his tychokinetic disability. simply put, the kid’s bad luck is legendary. stan lee once called him the quintessential hard luck kid. what does any of this have to do with me? well, you could say he and i are similar in that regard.
my bad luck borders on otherworldly. you’d think i broke a thousand mirrors in a past life (i am quite clumsy so maybe i did). i am also a compulsive planner and schemer. i need to have everything exactly how i need it, and so i tend to come up with plots and plans of varying complexities to attempt to make this a reality. and one thing i’ve learned in my 24 years of machinations big and small is that when i’m involved, shit never breaks my way. if i have a thing that i want to happen, the universe (or god, depending on your belief system), will contort itself to see that that doesn’t happen. does it get disheartening? yes. it’s a bit shit to know that the reason a thing burnt is because you were involved and had the audacity to want to see a thing happen. it gets demoralizing seeing other people run the same plots and plans you did and actually see results.
will i stop with the schemes and the plots and plans? no. i am a kid with a battery of mental issues and a serious control problem. i will keep trying to cook up tactics like i’m pep guardiola sitting in front of a subbuteo board. it’s how i try to grab hold of the controller puppetting my life. i only wish that every now and again, forces beyond my understanding didn’t take extra pleasure in pissing down my neck.
